


xenoblade x new game plus

by Zalosta



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles X
Genre: AU elma is super pissed, Gen, absolute idiocy, idiocy, it's for meme purpose, non english native, sowwy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zalosta/pseuds/Zalosta
Summary: Moss the Cross is in a gross situation where loss is expected and their boss Elma is super mad for some tragic reason





	xenoblade x new game plus

**Author's Note:**

> Our local Cross has trouble waking up before you go go  
> ♪ hit me baby one more time ♪  
> im not native english and it's for the meme rip

Creeper, aww man…  
Someone was dreaming. Blocks and blocks aligning in the distance. Something blowing up. And then, they starts hearing sounds.  
Blam blam blam. 

Funny how it goes in rhythm with something they know. Something… Familiar. A soft feeling. Slowly but surely, they gained consciousness of the texture of their skin. At first hurting, this feeling was slowly overcoming their whole body. And after the pain, a warm embrace that finalize their awakening. 

BLAM BLAM BLAM

Does their brain starts acting up ? What supposed to be a soft voice in their memory was shouting :

“WAKE THE HELL UP MAGGOT, we got road to do !”

Oopsie loopsie. The pod started to squeak here and there, and they quickly lose they balance inside : the damn thing was trembling. Again, three loud BLAM went on the surface of the pod. 

“I KNOW YOU ARE AWAKE, MY PDA IS SAYING THAT YOU ARE THERE”

They shivers. It’s not exactly what they recall, but anyway ! Immediately and, threatened by the angry voice, the elusive need to stay inside the pod disappeared. The big metal bed opened immediately, and the poor habitant felt something encountering brutally their teeth : a fist going along a confused scream. Their poor face went far behind the pod in a CLUNK sound. Birds starts appearing in front of their eyes. A pair of arms stronger than their will went to pick up their poor knocked out body, to throw it out of the pod. 

“You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the sleep border again right ? Walked right into my fist and, miracle ! You’re with me now. Get up now. What’s your name again…” 

The beautiful vision started to get clearer. A set of red armor, among other things. Some long white hair, and a pair of blue eyes who started to judge them once they manage to create an eye contact.

“the fuck you looking at” She muttered, typing nervously on her holo screen.

She looked insanely pissed but rather hot. Poor pod citizen who just woke up managed to get up slowly, to be able to face the one who hit them out of sleep. They could feel some drop of warm liquid down their face, in response to such a nice welcome.

“I can’t access anything from here, we’re a bit too far away from NLA.” She says again, putting away her screen. “So, let’s have a chatty chat. Do you remember anything prior sleeping ? Some sparks of dream maybe ?”

Indeed ! Blocks and blocks, creeper…. Aww man…

The tall woman instinctively put one of her finger on their mouth, imposing to shut up.

“shhh it’s ok, I’ll call you Cross the Moss for now. Or just Moss, whatever. We need to move now, the night is nigh and I don’t want to deal with any creatures – except you of course – today. Pack your butt and follow me.”

They did not dear to upset her. For sure, they raise a finger, ready to ask for her name…

“Oh by the way, name’s Elma. If you don’t say a word for the whole trip, you might become my number one friend, because it’s panicland right now, and a bit of silence is bliss. You got it ?”

Moss quietly nodded. There was nothing to do except following her, right ?... To where ? Their memory was blurry, and their face hurt like hell. They wanted to, at least, compliment the punch. Something along the line of “You did so well at waking me up” but it was stupid. Or just maybe hello. Thank you for waking me up. Maybe without her, they would’ve stay here for ?... So long ? Their thoughts shattered when they felt being held again, and put on a rock. She did that : she just grabbed them to put them on a rock, to see in the distance the landscape.

“Look Moss. This is your new kingdom.” She whispers, in a very ceremonious tone.

An absolute garbage of gigantic space station was laying on the ground, just above the horizon. Cristal shards where scattered here and there, and some big machine could be seen in the distance already trying to gather resources for some things they still didn’t had any clue.

Elma softly grabbed their face, squishing tenderly their check.

“Listen, walking flesh, as you can see it’s the Great Anxiety down there. Also called the White Whale, because people played too much gacha game from where you came from, they didn’t had any budget left to get the hell out of there in time to save more things. This place will be your very home. NLA.”

She waves vaguely to the city-to-be.

“It’s New Los Angels. Or whatever. New Lasagna Aldente…” She starts giggling, “Or just Earth No Longer Available if you want.”

Elma grabbed Moss by the hips and put it at a normal ground level.

“Now let us go, you need to enlist to do stuff. Yeah you still need to work even here, to fix some stuff. Sad day for humanity who as no rest whatsoever.”

During her rambling, Moss started to wonder. What happened ? What did she mean by Earth No Longer Available ? And working… What could they do anyway ? It seems that they had a deep amnesia of some sort… Elma started taping the ground with her feet. They nodded and followed her quickly, to avoid pissing her off faster than expected.


End file.
